Wednesday, July 5, 2006, 1:16 pm
So, now what?
Ok, these are some conclusions i've been able to draw about myself in this little turn of events...
I believe in the "love of your life" concept. I believe that i had her, and somehow i lost her...
She was is perfect. Ok, maybe not perfect, but she and i shared so many things that i know i will probably never find with anyone else. This is definitely a guy v. girl thing, because many of the traits she possesses that i found so desirable are what most guys go for. However, the same traits that i share... most women would not find interest in me for. Mainly, the "no kids" rule.
I don't know if she still loves me or not... i don't even know if she ever thinks about any of the last ten years. If she does, i don't know how she feels about it.
Thinking of me used to bring her so much pleasure... when did that feeling switch to pain? Why?
I do not know why she hates me so much... why she is so determined to lock me out of her life. I have given her no reason to hate me.
I may have given her reasons to give up on me... but in reality she has fought for us to stay together for the last ten years, so why would she give up on me now without talking about it to give us a chance.
Us deserves a chance!
She has no reason to hate me... i can only guess she doesn't "hate" me, but something has happened in her life that makes communicating with me difficult at best.
How do i tell her that it is ok? How do i forgive her for a moment of weakness she may or may not have experienced and that she is unwilling to confide in me? How do i let her know that it is so important to not close any doors?
How do i let her know that when it all falls apart, she will *always* have me to fall back on?
How do i let her know that our love cannot die?
Without her, i shall forever be the big loser... condemned to a life of loneliness. Oh yes, there may be another... but i doubt she lives in this community.
C, you were too perfect... had i only known what i needed to do to keep it going...
Until i know why you gave up on me... on us... i will never have the courage to try again.
I believe in the "love of your life" concept. I believe that i had her, and somehow i lost her...
She was is perfect. Ok, maybe not perfect, but she and i shared so many things that i know i will probably never find with anyone else. This is definitely a guy v. girl thing, because many of the traits she possesses that i found so desirable are what most guys go for. However, the same traits that i share... most women would not find interest in me for. Mainly, the "no kids" rule.
I don't know if she still loves me or not... i don't even know if she ever thinks about any of the last ten years. If she does, i don't know how she feels about it.
Thinking of me used to bring her so much pleasure... when did that feeling switch to pain? Why?
I do not know why she hates me so much... why she is so determined to lock me out of her life. I have given her no reason to hate me.
I may have given her reasons to give up on me... but in reality she has fought for us to stay together for the last ten years, so why would she give up on me now without talking about it to give us a chance.
Us deserves a chance!
She has no reason to hate me... i can only guess she doesn't "hate" me, but something has happened in her life that makes communicating with me difficult at best.
How do i tell her that it is ok? How do i forgive her for a moment of weakness she may or may not have experienced and that she is unwilling to confide in me? How do i let her know that it is so important to not close any doors?
How do i let her know that when it all falls apart, she will *always* have me to fall back on?
How do i let her know that our love cannot die?
Without her, i shall forever be the big loser... condemned to a life of loneliness. Oh yes, there may be another... but i doubt she lives in this community.
C, you were too perfect... had i only known what i needed to do to keep it going...
Until i know why you gave up on me... on us... i will never have the courage to try again.